goodbye mr. saturn

goodbye mr. saturn
because it's time for
you to recede into the
distance as my dawn,
more likely morning,
(or morbidly, twilight)
recedes into mid-day.

Elegy Seven

A fizzled memory of

the un-comfortable silence
on the phone,

I'd built a cage around
my denial of you
and put myself in it,

since it felt safer.

I avoided your eyes,
avoided you.

You probably deserved better from me.

If it's any consolation,
a ghost haunts my brain
with visions of how I might
have saved you, and wonders aloud
"good god I hope she wasn't alone,"
afraid that you could have been.