Best-Case Scenario

I woke up this morning
and my penis was Batman.

I considered it a best-case scenario,
much like if you had hit the lottery
or defeated all comers in skill-
related tournaments. Like winning,

I woke up this morning
and my penis was Batman.

I had left the phone off the hook
the previous evening. No calls,
no calls, please. Not while the
precious cocoon on my midsection
is waiting, and, success!

I woke up this morning
and my penis was Batman.

Complete with cape, gadgets,
mask, batmobile, sidekick boy
wonder and general flair.
What more could a twenty-two
year old man desire but to
lose all his misperceived faults
in, saying this:

I woke up this morning
and my penis was Batman.